pictures of you

Good and Bad Days

2010-08-13T01:53:00.000-07:00

I wish there wasn't either because you know that when you have a good day that you'll eventually have a bad day and vice versa. I wish there are just normal balanced days where It's just equally bad and good so that I won't have to suffer the good and bad days. It's like a 2-sided coin in which one is always on top and the other down below, I just want to be the metal in between. The equilibrium that sets everything.

Hopeless Romanticism

2010-08-12T01:58:00.002-07:00

I don't know what is it about her, but I get drawn so much like a magnet: a one-way magnet that is. That's why I'm killing the attraction by staying as far away as possible. It's for the best anyway because I can't keep fighting losing battles. I'm reaching my limit because I am only human after all; the weight will eventually overwhelm me, and drown me deep within her shadows.

losing it

2010-08-11T15:15:00.003-07:00

I've slowly became the person I've despised oh so much throughout my life. The lying, indecisive, hateful and pretentious scumbag that I didn't want to become. I don't know how it came to this, and seriously I'm having serious doubts whether I will be able to remedy this situation. I'm coming to a point where I don't know how to deal with it anymore other than live with it, and see whether I can revert back to my old self. I never expected myself to regress this bad, and at this point in time too because it certainly does not help the cause. In due time I hope things get better, for my sake.

2010-08-09T14:35:00.002-07:00

The lack of motivation is severely killing production.

Early Morning Musing

2010-08-08T08:47:00.005-07:00

Should I snap out of this delusion or should I do something about it? I feel like it's a lose-lose situation either way. I mean if i snap out it obviously means I lost, and if do something about it I might lose something if it fails. jesus christ, I've never been in such a messy situation like this until now. I'm extremely afraid of the outcome that it's killing me to the point that I'm losing sleep, and not to mention some unnecessary angst. However, I will probably do the latter since I need to face life. well, I'll see in a few days. I also need to stop being so indecisive.

back to writing

2010-08-08T08:30:00.001-07:00

will finally go back to writing random stuff, but this time around with better writing. I just realized how poor my writing was a year ago, oh well.

purpose

2009-04-27T22:35:00.002-07:00

parties and alcohol, material things, superficial society, unquenchable greed, is there more to life than all this?

PCN withdrawal

2009-04-19T00:11:00.005-07:00

i feel so sad right now cause of PCN. i had so much fun with the cast and crew, and now that the play is over things are gonna be different. i'll miss blockings, fun times with people, and so much more. it's like the feeling after graduation, and the next thing to come is the summer after it which is boring and depressing. i am so bored with my life, PCN gave me something to do, something really worth doing, but now i'll probably be back to my old unproductive self. the old lonesome kid who always stay in his room, who does nothing, but play computer games aimlessly. i don't know what to say anymore. i'll probably get over this feeling soon, but for now i'll be sad. i never knew it would hit me this hard to be honest cause i took everything for granted, but now i regret that i did.

i'll miss all of the people i worked with during PCN especially those that i might not see as much again, so i guess that success comes with a price.

thoughts

2009-04-18T04:10:00.002-07:00

i never liked going with the crowd. i've always wanted to be with the lesser people specially if there is like a hang out session or something. i prefer going with the smaller crowd just because i feel more at ease, and it's a lot more peaceful. also because that is just the way i am. as lame as it sounds, i really do prefer being with less people or alone.

stress

2008-08-23T01:15:00.004-07:00

it's nearly the start of classes. i'm so stressed with all the stuff going on, and for the fact that my mom keeps blaming me for all the shit that happened.

i always wonder why people keep crying over things that have happened; those things that cannot be changed anymore. i mean come on, seriously, people needs to stop living in the past.

2008-07-06T16:48:00.001-07:00

someday I'll pay you all sons bitches back for all your bs.

it's a promise.

2008-06-11T03:29:00.002-07:00

idiot: you got an S which is equivalent to negative zero.
me in my head: roflmao, negative zero ftw!

2008-05-24T23:02:00.008-07:00

everything is seriously getting tiring, all of the crap that I'm involved in, this pathetic place that i live and with these pathetic family and relatives that i mingle with. well it's not really all about them but mostly though, i am in a stalemate in which i can't do anything to push my life forward. i can't stand the everyday stress even though school is over. there are some things or circumstances that makes my life hard. i never had an easy streak in my life, well maybe for 2-3 days but that is the most and the least. i never had it for more than a week cause there will always be that problem that will occur that will make things complicated. i hate the people i mingle with everyday for they are so fake. they backstab their friends, family and other people they know, everytime i'm with them i can see/hear their fake attitude among other people, there is just no stopping it, they feed of it like it's their source of life/energy which makes things sad. i don't know if i can stay in this place without having to reach the point where i had enough, where i simply cannot stand their behavior, their fake attitude, their mockery of me and all the other things they do, the point where i just quit. i never expected things to be like this. still i was happy the way i was raised because i learn to value and respect other people and to be honest with them as much as possible. it is just only thing, i can't think of any other way to be raised and appreciate it. to sum it all up, i just simply like my father's side the family for they are true to themselves and to other people. they always keep an open mind to things. unlike for those people where i hear bullshit and crap all the time.

i want to stop posting like this because i want to be positive again but i just can't. the situation/s just simply doesn't permit me to.

just like heaven

2008-04-26T03:52:00.002-07:00

I will have that one point in time where i will shine. someday for sure...

And all those who looked down on me will regret that they ever have.

nothing to prove

2008-04-10T17:57:00.001-07:00

i am seriously getting sick and tired of my mom bullshiting me about my grades. the hell i dont even care if i get a high grade, i wont get anything if i get high grades there is absolutely nothing in it for me so what's the point? and how she keeps comparing me with her co-worker's daughters, on how they are scholars, straight A grade students and other blah bullshit that i dont even care about. seriously not to brag but i can definitely surpass them if i wanted to but as i said there is nothing in it for me, i know my strengths and potential. i just don't find any reason to prove that i can attain high grades. i don't have to prove to anyone anything, simple as that so i hope they stop mocking me.

i can be great i just choose not to.

if only i could be who you wanted all the time.

2008-03-20T02:26:00.003-07:00

i can't believe i've been living in this place for the past 7 months. i didn't felt homesick at all because i know i can always deceive myself that i feel just fine. as long as i feel ok physically then it's alright overall. i always try to hide the facts, the truths. because i can't face them. i always want to escape, far from everything, from those backstabbing people i mingle with everyday, i don't want to or need to hear what they have to say to other people. it's their problem, but every time i hear those things, i always ponder, those things always become food for my thoughts. i wish i can escape every time i want to or need to, far away from all these things, from all those people.

i always try to look ahead, for the things that might happen. they keep me going, they are my scapegoat for the disappointments and misery of the present. i am getting tired of the fake happyness. i am still in pursuit of my so called happyness. i so much miss my happy times in the philippines, those things that can never happen again, my friends which can never be replaced. and all those people who made it worthwhile. i just wish i had something that can make me happy altogether.

miss

2008-03-13T01:37:00.002-07:00

miss ko na mga kaklase ko, mga kaibigan ko, mga pinsan ko, mga kapamilya ko, mga kadota ko, mga kagaguhan ko, si bino si toff si gaud si marc. si dom/dong mga tricycle sa kanto, mga jeep na dumadaan, mga ulan na pwedeng liguan, dotahan sa boni, ang kainan sa boni na bestfriends, ang pizza sa yellow cab, ang napaka mahal na sbarro, ang glorrietta, ang mga kaputbol ko, ang putbol, ang masasarap na pagkain na pinoy, ang pishbol, ang kwek kwek, ang chicken skin, ang kalamares, ang don bosco, mga pagsisimba, ang megamall, ang greenbelt, mga kulasa friends, mga old st paul friends, ang team gubat, ang ilog pasig, ang putbol pild sa don bosco, ang ASCOM, ang MRT, ang LRT, ang polusyon, ang bahay ni gaud, ang road trip namin nila gaud toff marc at dom, ang coke sakto, ang RC cola, ang masarap na oishi prawn crackers, at higit sa lahat na realize ko na MISS KO NA SI AYANG!!! hahahahaha!!!

dmi ko namiss, mga bagay na di na pwede balikan, mga bagay na di na pwedeng gawin ulet, iba na buhay ngayon, it will never be the same again, it will never be as happy as before. haay.. but it can always be as lame as today.

2008-03-06T00:41:00.002-08:00

i want to get away from all this, its tiring.

2008-03-04T23:02:00.003-08:00

tama na pag iilusyon, oras na para gumising sa katotohanan.

2008-03-01T01:08:00.004-08:00

puta nakakainis nagdownload ako nung online game para lng malaman na di gagana yung putanginang RF na yun, tangina kasi ng nag hahandle yung netgames bano puta dapat magsara na sila dapat walang silbe, hahahahha!

excellence

2008-02-26T21:56:00.003-08:00

i just couldn't figure out why people strive to have grades of 90 and above or just a grade which isn't below average or just passed. i know they have their reasons, but as for me, i just don't have one. i'm contented with a passing grade or an average grade cause i just don't see the point in getting a really high or good grade. yeah i know it may feel or look good, but i just don't want to overexert myself through studying. my mom is like pushing me to get a high grade of 85 and above. i just don't get it, it doesn't make sense to me that is why i don't strive for higher grades, and unless someone can give me a pretty good and reasonable reason to strive, i probably won't until that happens.

blank stare

2008-02-19T21:54:00.001-08:00

there is no point in everything if the world doesn't make much sense.

RANT!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

minsan pagsasabihan ka na nga lang wala pa sa lugar, i mean kung maayos naman at may point ung sinasabi maiintindihan ko naman pero ung dahil naisip mo lng kaya mo sinabi, nakakabwisit! palagi pa nakasigaw wala namang kaaway, ang dahilan pagod daw sa trabaho tapos nangungulit pa daw, di naman nangungulit e, masyado lang mainitin ang ulo wala naman sa lugar, chaka onting tanong sigaw nanaman, i mean may pnapagawa sya tapos syempre di naman everytime magets mo agad makakagawa ka ng mga maliliit na mishaps kaya magtatanong ka kung ano yun tapos sigawan ka pa din. amf na yan unreasonable pang tangang tao lang yung ganung reason nakakainis! tao din mga kasama mo di pwedeng laging ikaw nalang iniintindi may limitasyon din pasensya ng mga tao sa paligid mo. yung sinasabi ko lang naman is iniintindi ka naman e sana intindihin mo din kami. pif!! kaya mahirap maging masaya sa putanginang lugar na to e, wala ka na ngang matinong kaibigan wala ka pa matinong kasambahay. leche!

college

2008-01-29T23:27:00.000-08:00

1st day of college it was quite fine but some of the teachers are too demanding but i can't complain so i'll just have to cope with it.

i liked my english class it was like the united nations, my classmates all have different nationalities. i have a korean, japanese, swiss, cameroon. micronesian, el salvador(ian?), and lastly the super hot russian. haha!

to be continued cause i was in school for 13 hours it was tiring. >_<

happiness, when will we meet?

2008-01-21T16:11:00.000-08:00

I was never happy since i came here. still i find ways to live.

plastik

2008-01-21T16:02:00.001-08:00

It's easier for people to pass the blame to someone else than to take the blame for themselves. it is sad really that i live in such an environment in which are infested with people with masks. you know what i mean. lucky for me and thank God i wasn't raised to be that way. I am happy and proud to be raised not to judge people even if everyone else does. it's like they make a living out of it. that's how frequent they do it.

I only want that little simple thing in life but why can't i get it

2008-01-13T17:30:00.000-08:00

The San Diego Chargers upset the Indianapolis Colts 28 - 24

The New York Giants upset the Dallas Cowboys 21 - 18

But most of all INSOMNIA upsets me and wakes me up at 2 am and won't let me sleep until 6am for 2 freakin days.

and lastly i wasn't able to buy my so adored and anticipated PSP because all stores are out since before christmas. goddamit its already 3 weeks after christmas.

i cannot believe this, I'm so overwhelmed for the stupid fact that i can't buy what my heart wants. i can't even stay positive because who knows when will the stores get new stocks. that is just so sad, that freaking uncertainty on when i will finally be able to get it. the everyday excitement for nothing.

What is your world vision?

2008-01-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

pls help me. visit this site it is really a big help. comment and suggestions will be a great help. http://urworldvision.blogspot.com/ . you can make a difference.

2008-01-07T03:59:00.000-08:00

some songs remind me of the good old times.

nostalgia nostalgia nostalgia, its like a drug that keeps me alive.

2008-01-04T03:16:00.001-08:00

mahirap tumawa mag isa. haha! nanuod ka ng movie dati may kasama ka tumawa for some certain scenes and may pwede ka mayaya almost anytime pag may gusto ka movie. ngayon minsan nalang at yung minsan na yun ikaw pa mag isa tatawa. hahaha! nakakatawa...

Just a thought

2008-01-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

i have a thought. i think that maybe it is best to give when you are giving your little extra, that little something extra you have. i mean that when you are rich you have a lot of excess money so it's not too hard to give to charity or other institution unlike when you are a normal people who just have a little extra for themselves but instead of using that little extra for themselves they give to charity or other poor people. Because i think that when you don't have a lot of excess money it's hard for you to give but when you do give it shows how you really want to give, and shows how much of a big heart you have. I'm not saying that those rich people are not sincere with their giving to charity. everything i said was just my thought i'm not saying they are correct.

new year, new life

2007-12-30T02:09:00.000-08:00

it was my first ever Christmas here in reno and it was quite good for some reason. i got a lot of gifts and all of it was mostly clothing for winter because it is winter here and it's quite cold but tolerable. it hasn't snow for the past few weeks but i still consider this as my first ever white Christmas. not too much snow this season yet, but maybe in the next few months. over all it was all good.

everything is changing in my life except for the fact that my mom is still so annoying. she keeps telling me how lazy i am even though i am working so much to do most of the house work. i mean i should at least get some credit for what i do but instead she just keeps on yapping to me on how my ways in the philippines is not gonna work here, but men i changed my ways so much. credit please! my god! i can't believe her and i don't try to argue to her about what i feel because she won't listen to it. She always thinks she is right in everything which is not and gets so fuckin annoying. i mean yeah they might be the older ones but geez! when you're wrong admit it for a change and for crying out loud, but i guess adults will never change cause they will never listen to kids because they are always right and the kids are always wrong. i mean yeah maybe not all the time but MOST of the time they do.

ebilnes

2007-11-28T22:19:00.000-08:00

for once i actually think i'm being punished by God for all my evil deeds. i sorta got some skin allergy or something. its like my skin is being pinned by a needle and gets all itchy, men it feels like hell. i cannot believe this is happening to me, i mean i don't deserve this its killing me. even for those evil deeds haha! it just like sorta happens everyday at some point. i don't know what the hell is causing it and man i wish it stops. christmas is coming so that's why it needs to stop or better yet i need to see a doctor or something. haha! and speaking of christmas, i cannot feel the spirit of it and with less than a month to go. i mean when i was in the philippines, i can feel the spirit of christmas way in the month of september. oh well i would just have to live with this. there is nothing i can do anyway, and whining about it won't really help.

friends

2007-11-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

i just had a long phone call from my friends which was really nice. it reminded me of the good times when i was still in the philippines. they're still doing the same old things but just without me. it seems they are good, and will continue to improve their lives. hopefuly we'll meet again someday and do our stuffs again once more. i mean i could not ask for better friends than them because i know they are the best i could ever have. the good times will come again in the near future. pray for the best in life.

unfortunately

2007-11-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

i didn't make it in the try out. oh well i wasn't expecting anything from the beggining anyway. the try out was bad for me because i really wasn't able to show what i can do due to lack of preparation that leads to my legs unable to cope up with me and the same goes with my stamina. but i can only blame myself in that. i took things for granted. actually i wasn't expecting that my legs would fail me but it happened and i coudn't do anything which was quite dissapointing. but overall i enjoyed it even though i performed poorly. i will definetely try again if given the chance. i really do hope i do get another chance to tryout for any team cause i really want to play. but as for now i can only reflect on my mistakes so that the next time i can really put up a challenge. no regrets but only myselft to blame for failing. that is all there is to it.

try out

2007-11-14T21:28:00.000-08:00

today i had my try out for a football/soccer club. i know i didn't do good because it's like my stamina can't cope up because i really wasn't in shape to play but even though i almost died. i withstood the 2 1/2 hour of it with no water because my mom went somewhere with my water. i know i can get in the team if i'm in good shape and if i try really really hard, i'm not quitting, i'm gonna give myself another chance even if its slim. but even if i won't make it, it's perfectly fine because i enjoyed it somehow. it was fun the americans are nice but not too much with the mexicans. there is a second try out at saturday. and there is still 2 days to at least prepare even more. i'm gonna try as hard in the last 2 days so i can at least get enough stamina to play good. i don't know if the 2 days jog to death can make a lot of difference but i know any difference is good than nothing at all.

Desperately trying to speak the words i've been wanting to say for a long time

2007-11-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

the sadness keeps drowning my fragile heart, its like a good dream but when the conversation with my friends ends so as my good dream. it takes me back to the reality that I'm alone. no one can ever deny that fact even if you say its not because you're so far away to even say that. so most probably it will just become a lie even though how much you wanted it to become the truth. and so the sadness continues...

great moments, they pass by if you're careless

2007-10-31T23:54:00.000-07:00

everynight i see you in my dreams, you keep on haunting me everynight, will you ever stop? you're eyes always looking straight at me and mine straight back at you. but we're strangers to each other, and that fact will never change. goodbye goodnight.

asshole

2007-10-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

I'm so pissed, why the hell do i have to always settle for less for someone else's comfort. i can't handle this anymore. FUCK! i definitely deserve better. i can't speak for what i want because i know it might cause arguement among my mom and his ass husband. but the hell its so darn frustrating.

otisim part 2

2007-10-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

nahihilo ako kasi nakainom ako ng panis na gatas, hahahaha! ay dko pla alam kung dahil tlga yun dun inimbento ko lang yun. basta nahihilo ako umiikot ung mundo. merry go round there's so many lambs around wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! i see stars and i see you........

ipuf tsk tsk tsk, lol

2007-10-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

isang araw papunta kami ng ascom nila toff at marc tapos nakasakay kami sa jeep galing guadalups. tas nag stop ung driver kasi stop light tas may nakatapat na jeep tapos kakilala nya ung driver, tapos nag usap sila. tapos eto ang kanilang pinag usapan: hahahahahaha

manong driver 1: oi asan na siya?
manong driver 2: wla na pinakulong ko na..
sa ilalim ng drum
manong driver1: OMG! bkt?
manong driver2: illegal eh!
manong driver1: anong illegal?
manong driver2: illegal possession of ugly face = ipuf?

legend:
(manong driver2 = the driver of the jeep we are riding)
(manong driver1 = colleague)

tas puta nung una dedma kasi nagkwentuhan kami tas naririnig kasi tlga lakas ng boses nung mama amp, taena tawa kami ng tawa. grabe imagination nung driver amf. hahahahaha!!! tas lahat ng panget = ipuf na.. watta word

life is simple and dull

2007-10-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

a carefree life, a stupid mind, an unending misery. all mixed into one and that is most likely to be my life. i don't know and i don't care about anything. so many annoying things. i just want a place where i can simply lie down, away from everything. i want a secluded place where i can escape froma all this. a little island in the middle of nowhere. where i can simply feel nostalgic all the time. the greatest feeling for me. nostalgia

otisim part 1

2007-10-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

all i want is everything... am i asking too much?

futbol

2007-09-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

i want to playyyyyyyyyyy and i neeeeeeed some chances to play. COLLEGE REJECT ME HIGH SCHOOL EMBRACE ME AND TAKE ME BACK. hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! puta absurd. mga kapitbahay labas naman kayo puro kayo pagpapataba jan sa loob ng bahay nyo kaya lahat kayo ay mga OBIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS hindi man lang CHUBYY NA CUTE kung hindi MATABANG OBISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS wahahahah sabog na ko umaga na kasi STAK AP NA UTAK KO HELP ME!!!! ay ay, dko pala kelangan ng help. wahahahahahaha

a quiet afternoon filled with thoughts

2007-09-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

life is pretty boring, i wish it could just be somewhat interesting.

life, it won't ever be good enough

2007-08-28T18:25:00.001-07:00

i was thinking considerably the benefits of being in college and not going back to high school. i mean it's not really that bad to go back at least i can still play futbol but it seems i can't. i will be in college soon and there will be no more futbol i guess. i mean it's so hard to let go of playing futbol but i have to, it's totally gudbye for the sport. there's no other chance to play rather than in school for me. i guess that's the way it's gonna end and i won't be able to do anything about it. like some saying in a disney cartoon. "sometimes bad things happen and you won't be able to do anything about it." i guess i kinda expected too much. oh well that's life and you can never be too happy.

twilight

2007-08-28T18:11:00.000-07:00

"My life is adrift wandering around aimlessly in this god forsaken place, full of confusion and thoughts. it's not good but not too bad at all, i guess that it's just stuck at this point in time where there is nowhere to go."

3-kowalski

2007-08-26T09:53:00.000-07:00

naalala ko nung 3rd year tapos english class, kasi after examination so kailangan namin gumawa ng evaluation dun sa teacher and sa subject so un kuha kami 1/4 piece of paper. then kasama ko si vino at si corn bali tatlo kami so un natripan namin na gaguhin ung evaluation kasi hindi naman kailangan ng pangalan so hindi kami malalaman. so un kuha kami mga 2 pcs of paper each at nilagay namin dun mga stuff about cellular providers like ung sa globe "connecting people" tas sa smart "simply amazing" tapos madami pa kami nilagay na kagaguhan mga quotes na di ko na maalala, so un pinasa tapos binasa nung teacher haha!! taena pasimple pa kaming walang alam sa ginawa tawang tawa kami nung binabasa nung teacher kasi kunwari wala kaming alam nakikitawa lang kami sa mga kaklase para painosente effect, hahaha!! so un ginawa ata namin un for 2 quarters except nung 4th year kasi si doombringer na teacher eh, baka madoom kami, hahahah!!!!

hiphap

2007-08-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

my mom can sometimes get pretty annoying, she has one sided biased opinion on fashion. and that is hiphap and loose clothing my goodness, she keeps on telling me how cool to wear loose clothing and how gay it is to wear semi-fit jeans and clothes. it's quite annoying really because there is not in a million chance that i would wear loose clothing. and man he pestered me with my haircut because she thinks it sucks, like duh! i preffer long hair rather than the shorty gay hair. oh well i won't succumb to her beliefs.

stak ap!

2007-08-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

"it's like hitting the reset button and starting all over again."

pota nakakburat ang pagdating ko dito sa reno kasi taena disyerto nakakatamad miski maganda bahay namin la nmn lock kwarto wala din saysay hahaha!! tapos daming sibak at chicanong gangster na mukang mga hoodlum amp! buti nlng di kami sa ghetto neighborhood kung hindi patay kasi magulo! at wala pa kami sa downtown kaya mejo nakakatamd pero ok lng kaso mga bugok kapitbahay namin kasi hindi lumalabas amp! at ang lamig pa ng bahay kasi may aircon na centralized tapos hindi ko pa alam pano i edit ung temp. pero ayos na din sa ngaun, kelangan ko ng lakas ng loob para maka go through in this stage of my fuckin life. hindi kasi ganun ka-ok eh parang mas maganda pa din kung sa pilipinas ako titira or some other state na maayos barok kasi dito disyerto at parang onti ng population kaya panget kasi gusto ko sa madaming tao para mejo nakakutwa naman. un mejo stak ap buhay ko at utak walang direction sa ngaun. daming stuff na complicated like my haircut and the way i dress. sana hindi nalang ako kontrahin ng nanay ko, mejo wala din pala ganong freedom. kala ko matutuwa ako pero sa ngaun hindi kasi parang nasa paranyake lang ako sa mga tita ko sa pilipinas boring, kala ko nga magiging interesting life ko eh pero sa ngaun hindi pa din eh pero sana soon. :D

idiots

2007-07-31T10:35:00.000-07:00

putangina sana mamatay na lahat ng nagpapahirap sa buhay ko. nakaka bwistet kasi pinapahirap ng mga tanginang mga tao ang aking napaksimpleng buhay, ginagawa nila itong komplikado para sakin, katulad nalang ng aking putanginang tiyuhin na ginastos ang aking dapat na alawans na 2500 putangina talaga, e dapat pang gastos ko un pambli ng load sa cellphone at sa RO, at panggastos kasi pupunta kaming ust, e kaso putangina ginastos nya nga kaya nkakabwiset mag iisip pa tuloy ako kung pano ako magkakapera bukas kasi 50 nlng pera ko putangina talaga imbis na maganda tulog ko ngaun masama tuloy at dahil sa ka tanginahang ginawa nya mag aantay tuloy ako hanggang baka sa friday para magka alawans ulet putangina talaga sinong matutuwa nun lalo na kapag na delay pa at next week ko pa makuha edi mas lalo akong mabubwiset dahil sa kaputanginahan nya!!! (sorry for the foul words it's just so goddamn frustrating, on second thought. it's a rant so might as well use foul words to ease my fucking frustration)

secluded

2007-07-26T10:45:00.000-07:00

I'm not feeling too nice about my surrounding, i mean for once i wanted to be separated from all the people. i want to stay in a secluded island far away from everyone. I'm getting sick and tired of trying to comprehend with everyone. and I'm getting too paranoid with everything that is going in my life. it's killing me, i hate it so much and as much as possible like I've said i wanted to be alone for a while, stay in a secluded island or a somewhat dream world where only i exist. so i can look on what has happened to me for the past months, recall myself and put back together a part of me that is lost. but maybe, just maybe it was already lost forever? but then again someone can bring it back...

"Someday i know for sure paranoia is gonna kill me, one way or the other."

facedown

2007-07-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

it's gonna be over soon because i'm gonna be gone for good but there is still one real question in my head. Will people miss me? hehe most probably not, no one could care less about me going anyway. they will just eventually forget about me and by the time i will take my vacation no one knows me anymore, sadly but that is the truth. like a bad memory simply forgotten so easily.

dull night

2007-07-14T11:02:00.000-07:00

"I can only try to do as much. and sadly it won't ever be enough to sooth the unending sadness within. Hope is nothing more than a word for it doesn't have any essence of which can ease the sadness. time is not on my side, it never was. and pretty soon time will run out and everything good i have with it."

annoying

2007-07-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

geez for the past 3-4 months people have been asking when will i go to the states. And fuck i'm sick of their fucking questions. why the hell can't they just wait for me to be gone dammit. i'm sick of answering that patheticness. i mean why the hell do i have to answer it all the time? they won't even be affected when i'm gone anyway. stupid people, idiot people. tss

waiting

2007-07-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

this sucks because for quite some time now i'm always waiting for something, for those somethings to fall into their rightful places. and i'm getting tired of it. i'm getting sick of the endless waiting. it's like after waiting i get to wait again for something. i hope it ends soon.

cerulean sky

2007-07-08T08:37:00.001-07:00

"I can see it all too clearly now, the serene blue sky. the only thing that we'll be able to share. the only thing we're bound to see together in distance. And hopefully someday we'll be able to share it close to each other in some place great."

fine day dumbass

2007-07-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

today i met with my old skulmate kate aka joji(what a lame gay alias) im gonna continue tomorrow wenk!