Good and Bad Days

I wish there wasn't either because you know that when you have a good day that you'll eventually have a bad day and vice versa. I wish there are just normal balanced days where It's just equally bad and good so that I won't have to suffer the good and bad days. It's like a 2-sided coin in which one is always on top and the other down below, I just want to be the metal in between. The equilibrium that sets everything.

Hopeless Romanticism

I don't know what is it about her, but I get drawn so much like a magnet: a one-way magnet that is. That's why I'm killing the attraction by staying as far away as possible. It's for the best anyway because I can't keep fighting losing battles. I'm reaching my limit because I am only human after all; the weight will eventually overwhelm me, and drown me deep within her shadows.

losing it

I've slowly became the person I've despised oh so much throughout my life. The lying, indecisive, hateful and pretentious scumbag that I didn't want to become. I don't know how it came to this, and seriously I'm having serious doubts whether I will be able to remedy this situation. I'm coming to a point where I don't know how to deal with it anymore other than live with it, and see whether I can revert back to my old self. I never expected myself to regress this bad, and at this point in time too because it certainly does not help the cause. In due time I hope things get better, for my sake.

The lack of motivation is severely killing production.

Early Morning Musing

Should I snap out of this delusion or should I do something about it? I feel like it's a lose-lose situation either way. I mean if i snap out it obviously means I lost, and if do something about it I might lose something if it fails. jesus christ, I've never been in such a messy situation like this until now. I'm extremely afraid of the outcome that it's killing me to the point that I'm losing sleep, and not to mention some unnecessary angst. However, I will probably do the latter since I need to face life. well, I'll see in a few days. I also need to stop being so indecisive.

back to writing

will finally go back to writing random stuff, but this time around with better writing. I just realized how poor my writing was a year ago, oh well.

purpose

parties and alcohol, material things, superficial society, unquenchable greed, is there more to life than all this?