just like heaven

I will have that one point in time where i will shine. someday for sure...

And all those who looked down on me will regret that they ever have.

nothing to prove

i am seriously getting sick and tired of my mom bullshiting me about my grades. the hell i dont even care if i get a high grade, i wont get anything if i get high grades there is absolutely nothing in it for me so what's the point? and how she keeps comparing me with her co-worker's daughters, on how they are scholars, straight A grade students and other blah bullshit that i dont even care about. seriously not to brag but i can definitely surpass them if i wanted to but as i said there is nothing in it for me, i know my strengths and potential. i just don't find any reason to prove that i can attain high grades. i don't have to prove to anyone anything, simple as that so i hope they stop mocking me.

i can be great i just choose not to.

if only i could be who you wanted all the time.

i can't believe i've been living in this place for the past 7 months. i didn't felt homesick at all because i know i can always deceive myself that i feel just fine. as long as i feel ok physically then it's alright overall. i always try to hide the facts, the truths. because i can't face them. i always want to escape, far from everything, from those backstabbing people i mingle with everyday, i don't want to or need to hear what they have to say to other people. it's their problem, but every time i hear those things, i always ponder, those things always become food for my thoughts. i wish i can escape every time i want to or need to, far away from all these things, from all those people.

i always try to look ahead, for the things that might happen. they keep me going, they are my scapegoat for the disappointments and misery of the present. i am getting tired of the fake happyness. i am still in pursuit of my so called happyness. i so much miss my happy times in the philippines, those things that can never happen again, my friends which can never be replaced. and all those people who made it worthwhile. i just wish i had something that can make me happy altogether.

miss

miss ko na mga kaklase ko, mga kaibigan ko, mga pinsan ko, mga kapamilya ko, mga kadota ko, mga kagaguhan ko, si bino si toff si gaud si marc. si dom/dong mga tricycle sa kanto, mga jeep na dumadaan, mga ulan na pwedeng liguan, dotahan sa boni, ang kainan sa boni na bestfriends, ang pizza sa yellow cab, ang napaka mahal na sbarro, ang glorrietta, ang mga kaputbol ko, ang putbol, ang masasarap na pagkain na pinoy, ang pishbol, ang kwek kwek, ang chicken skin, ang kalamares, ang don bosco, mga pagsisimba, ang megamall, ang greenbelt, mga kulasa friends, mga old st paul friends, ang team gubat, ang ilog pasig, ang putbol pild sa don bosco, ang ASCOM, ang MRT, ang LRT, ang polusyon, ang bahay ni gaud, ang road trip namin nila gaud toff marc at dom, ang coke sakto, ang RC cola, ang masarap na oishi prawn crackers, at higit sa lahat na realize ko na MISS KO NA SI AYANG!!! hahahahaha!!!

dmi ko namiss, mga bagay na di na pwede balikan, mga bagay na di na pwedeng gawin ulet, iba na buhay ngayon, it will never be the same again, it will never be as happy as before. haay.. but it can always be as lame as today.

i want to get away from all this, its tiring.

tama na pag iilusyon, oras na para gumising sa katotohanan.

puta nakakainis nagdownload ako nung online game para lng malaman na di gagana yung putanginang RF na yun, tangina kasi ng nag hahandle yung netgames bano puta dapat magsara na sila dapat walang silbe, hahahahha!