life, it won't ever be good enough

i was thinking considerably the benefits of being in college and not going back to high school. i mean it's not really that bad to go back at least i can still play futbol but it seems i can't. i will be in college soon and there will be no more futbol i guess. i mean it's so hard to let go of playing futbol but i have to, it's totally gudbye for the sport. there's no other chance to play rather than in school for me. i guess that's the way it's gonna end and i won't be able to do anything about it. like some saying in a disney cartoon. "sometimes bad things happen and you won't be able to do anything about it." i guess i kinda expected too much. oh well that's life and you can never be too happy.

twilight

"My life is adrift wandering around aimlessly in this god forsaken place, full of confusion and thoughts. it's not good but not too bad at all, i guess that it's just stuck at this point in time where there is nowhere to go."

3-kowalski

naalala ko nung 3rd year tapos english class, kasi after examination so kailangan namin gumawa ng evaluation dun sa teacher and sa subject so un kuha kami 1/4 piece of paper. then kasama ko si vino at si corn bali tatlo kami so un natripan namin na gaguhin ung evaluation kasi hindi naman kailangan ng pangalan so hindi kami malalaman. so un kuha kami mga 2 pcs of paper each at nilagay namin dun mga stuff about cellular providers like ung sa globe "connecting people" tas sa smart "simply amazing" tapos madami pa kami nilagay na kagaguhan mga quotes na di ko na maalala, so un pinasa tapos binasa nung teacher haha!! taena pasimple pa kaming walang alam sa ginawa tawang tawa kami nung binabasa nung teacher kasi kunwari wala kaming alam nakikitawa lang kami sa mga kaklase para painosente effect, hahaha!! so un ginawa ata namin un for 2 quarters except nung 4th year kasi si doombringer na teacher eh, baka madoom kami, hahahah!!!!

hiphap

my mom can sometimes get pretty annoying, she has one sided biased opinion on fashion. and that is hiphap and loose clothing my goodness, she keeps on telling me how cool to wear loose clothing and how gay it is to wear semi-fit jeans and clothes. it's quite annoying really because there is not in a million chance that i would wear loose clothing. and man he pestered me with my haircut because she thinks it sucks, like duh! i preffer long hair rather than the shorty gay hair. oh well i won't succumb to her beliefs.

stak ap!

"it's like hitting the reset button and starting all over again."

pota nakakburat ang pagdating ko dito sa reno kasi taena disyerto nakakatamad miski maganda bahay namin la nmn lock kwarto wala din saysay hahaha!! tapos daming sibak at chicanong gangster na mukang mga hoodlum amp! buti nlng di kami sa ghetto neighborhood kung hindi patay kasi magulo! at wala pa kami sa downtown kaya mejo nakakatamd pero ok lng kaso mga bugok kapitbahay namin kasi hindi lumalabas amp! at ang lamig pa ng bahay kasi may aircon na centralized tapos hindi ko pa alam pano i edit ung temp. pero ayos na din sa ngaun, kelangan ko ng lakas ng loob para maka go through in this stage of my fuckin life. hindi kasi ganun ka-ok eh parang mas maganda pa din kung sa pilipinas ako titira or some other state na maayos barok kasi dito disyerto at parang onti ng population kaya panget kasi gusto ko sa madaming tao para mejo nakakutwa naman. un mejo stak ap buhay ko at utak walang direction sa ngaun. daming stuff na complicated like my haircut and the way i dress. sana hindi nalang ako kontrahin ng nanay ko, mejo wala din pala ganong freedom. kala ko matutuwa ako pero sa ngaun hindi kasi parang nasa paranyake lang ako sa mga tita ko sa pilipinas boring, kala ko nga magiging interesting life ko eh pero sa ngaun hindi pa din eh pero sana soon. :D

idiots

putangina sana mamatay na lahat ng nagpapahirap sa buhay ko. nakaka bwistet kasi pinapahirap ng mga tanginang mga tao ang aking napaksimpleng buhay, ginagawa nila itong komplikado para sakin, katulad nalang ng aking putanginang tiyuhin na ginastos ang aking dapat na alawans na 2500 putangina talaga, e dapat pang gastos ko un pambli ng load sa cellphone at sa RO, at panggastos kasi pupunta kaming ust, e kaso putangina ginastos nya nga kaya nkakabwiset mag iisip pa tuloy ako kung pano ako magkakapera bukas kasi 50 nlng pera ko putangina talaga imbis na maganda tulog ko ngaun masama tuloy at dahil sa ka tanginahang ginawa nya mag aantay tuloy ako hanggang baka sa friday para magka alawans ulet putangina talaga sinong matutuwa nun lalo na kapag na delay pa at next week ko pa makuha edi mas lalo akong mabubwiset dahil sa kaputanginahan nya!!! (sorry for the foul words it's just so goddamn frustrating, on second thought. it's a rant so might as well use foul words to ease my fucking frustration)

secluded

I'm not feeling too nice about my surrounding, i mean for once i wanted to be separated from all the people. i want to stay in a secluded island far away from everyone. I'm getting sick and tired of trying to comprehend with everyone. and I'm getting too paranoid with everything that is going in my life. it's killing me, i hate it so much and as much as possible like I've said i wanted to be alone for a while, stay in a secluded island or a somewhat dream world where only i exist. so i can look on what has happened to me for the past months, recall myself and put back together a part of me that is lost. but maybe, just maybe it was already lost forever? but then again someone can bring it back...

"Someday i know for sure paranoia is gonna kill me, one way or the other."