i can't believe i've been living in this place for the past 7 months. i didn't felt homesick at all because i know i can always deceive myself that i feel just fine. as long as i feel ok physically then it's alright overall. i always try to hide the facts, the truths. because i can't face them. i always want to escape, far from everything, from those backstabbing people i mingle with everyday, i don't want to or need to hear what they have to say to other people. it's their problem, but every time i hear those things, i always ponder, those things always become food for my thoughts. i wish i can escape every time i want to or need to, far away from all these things, from all those people.
i always try to look ahead, for the things that might happen. they keep me going, they are my scapegoat for the disappointments and misery of the present. i am getting tired of the fake happyness. i am still in pursuit of my so called happyness. i so much miss my happy times in the philippines, those things that can never happen again, my friends which can never be replaced. and all those people who made it worthwhile. i just wish i had something that can make me happy altogether.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
i have also been in a rut numerous times already but i made it a point not to let it get in the way. real happiness can't really be brought by other people, you have to bring happiness to your self. it takes a lot of courage and dedication but i know you can get it. Be happy and stay Jay! :-)
dont worry, i wont change no matter what. i promised that to myself. heh. i know i'll eventually be happy here, but no matter how much i try to fit in. with these people, with these environment. i just dont belong. my heart is not here. heh anyways thx ^_^
p.s pls dont tell my mom about my blog. cause its my only place of peace in this chaotic world. cause she's looking at your blog and your tipid blog the other day. heh. have a good day.
Post a Comment