PCN withdrawal

i feel so sad right now cause of PCN. i had so much fun with the cast and crew, and now that the play is over things are gonna be different. i'll miss blockings, fun times with people, and so much more. it's like the feeling after graduation, and the next thing to come is the summer after it which is boring and depressing. i am so bored with my life, PCN gave me something to do, something really worth doing, but now i'll probably be back to my old unproductive self. the old lonesome kid who always stay in his room, who does nothing, but play computer games aimlessly. i don't know what to say anymore. i'll probably get over this feeling soon, but for now i'll be sad. i never knew it would hit me this hard to be honest cause i took everything for granted, but now i regret that i did.

i'll miss all of the people i worked with during PCN especially those that i might not see as much again, so i guess that success comes with a price.

thoughts

i never liked going with the crowd. i've always wanted to be with the lesser people specially if there is like a hang out session or something. i prefer going with the smaller crowd just because i feel more at ease, and it's a lot more peaceful. also because that is just the way i am. as lame as it sounds, i really do prefer being with less people or alone.

stress

it's nearly the start of classes. i'm so stressed with all the stuff going on, and for the fact that my mom keeps blaming me for all the shit that happened.

i always wonder why people keep crying over things that have happened; those things that cannot be changed anymore. i mean come on, seriously, people needs to stop living in the past.

someday I'll pay you all sons bitches back for all your bs.

it's a promise.

idiot: you got an S which is equivalent to negative zero.
me in my head: roflmao, negative zero ftw!

everything is seriously getting tiring, all of the crap that I'm involved in, this pathetic place that i live and with these pathetic family and relatives that i mingle with. well it's not really all about them but mostly though, i am in a stalemate in which i can't do anything to push my life forward. i can't stand the everyday stress even though school is over. there are some things or circumstances that makes my life hard. i never had an easy streak in my life, well maybe for 2-3 days but that is the most and the least. i never had it for more than a week cause there will always be that problem that will occur that will make things complicated. i hate the people i mingle with everyday for they are so fake. they backstab their friends, family and other people they know, everytime i'm with them i can see/hear their fake attitude among other people, there is just no stopping it, they feed of it like it's their source of life/energy which makes things sad. i don't know if i can stay in this place without having to reach the point where i had enough, where i simply cannot stand their behavior, their fake attitude, their mockery of me and all the other things they do, the point where i just quit. i never expected things to be like this. still i was happy the way i was raised because i learn to value and respect other people and to be honest with them as much as possible. it is just only thing, i can't think of any other way to be raised and appreciate it. to sum it all up, i just simply like my father's side the family for they are true to themselves and to other people. they always keep an open mind to things. unlike for those people where i hear bullshit and crap all the time.

i want to stop posting like this because i want to be positive again but i just can't. the situation/s just simply doesn't permit me to.

just like heaven

I will have that one point in time where i will shine. someday for sure...

And all those who looked down on me will regret that they ever have.