everything is seriously getting tiring, all of the crap that I'm involved in, this pathetic place that i live and with these pathetic family and relatives that i mingle with. well it's not really all about them but mostly though, i am in a stalemate in which i can't do anything to push my life forward. i can't stand the everyday stress even though school is over. there are some things or circumstances that makes my life hard. i never had an easy streak in my life, well maybe for 2-3 days but that is the most and the least. i never had it for more than a week cause there will always be that problem that will occur that will make things complicated. i hate the people i mingle with everyday for they are so fake. they backstab their friends, family and other people they know, everytime i'm with them i can see/hear their fake attitude among other people, there is just no stopping it, they feed of it like it's their source of life/energy which makes things sad. i don't know if i can stay in this place without having to reach the point where i had enough, where i simply cannot stand their behavior, their fake attitude, their mockery of me and all the other things they do, the point where i just quit. i never expected things to be like this. still i was happy the way i was raised because i learn to value and respect other people and to be honest with them as much as possible. it is just only thing, i can't think of any other way to be raised and appreciate it. to sum it all up, i just simply like my father's side the family for they are true to themselves and to other people. they always keep an open mind to things. unlike for those people where i hear bullshit and crap all the time.

i want to stop posting like this because i want to be positive again but i just can't. the situation/s just simply doesn't permit me to.